STILL life takes on a whole new – and quite literal – meaning in the Dutch city of Zaandam when the World Living Statues Festival comes to town and brings things to a standstill.

Last Sunday, shoppers never knew quite who, or what, to expect as forty of the leading exponents of the bizarre art gathered in the city just north of Amsterdam to showcase their skills in the Dutch championship.

Yes, we’re used to seeing living statues on the South Bank in London, for example, but to encounter so many of them in one place – at work, rest and play – was a surreal spectacle.

Strangest of all was seeing the statues on their breaks – they tend to stay stock still for up to five minutes at a time – stepping off their plinths to take a loo break or have their make-up touched up by their support team.

In the virtual company of our good friend Stephan van der Meer – no stranger to the blog – we were touring the canalside festival site when Marilyn Monroe, statuesque in every way, strolled past us.

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Elsewhere, a giant puppet roamed the mall and a girl teetered on a huge balance ball as she passed us by. You had to pinch yourself, but it’s par for the course at this weird and wonderful event.

The living statues, however, are the main attraction, and come in every shape and size. Here was Oscar – yes, he of Academy Awards fame – there, a copper Valkyrie with a long lance.

She abandoned her pose when a couple of young lads rustled her battledress skirt, stepping down from her plinth to chase after them, lance at the ready, as they hid behind their parents.

“Oh-oh! She IS alive!” Stephan smiled as the young culprits ended up in giggles of fright delight.

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A Harry Potter statue was big here last year, apparently, but we chanced upon a man EATING books, including JK Rowling’s titles. Chewing on a recipe book, he was hungry for knowledge.

A couple of pastel coloured glampers clearly weren’t taking any chances, he carrying a bucket and his wife with a toilet roll on a piece of string around her neck. It was a winning combination.

They secured second place after the judges reached their verdict, narrowly pipped to the post by a terracotta fountain. (And no, that’s not a sentence I ever envisaged writing in my journalistic career).

Leading light Petro van de Pas took the 1,000 Euros first prize with his already much acclaimed Water Carrier, turning himself into not just a statue but a human fountain, water jetting from his fingers.

Petro, who has been doing this sort of thing since 1989 and is quite the star in the world of living statuary, has been presenting the character since 1999, and has appeared in a TV commercial.

But there was more, much more.

A hapless dentist kept trying to pull a bad tooth from the mouth of his wife, and she wasn’t at all impressed – a clever little show in its own right which proved hugely popular with the crowds.

There was the strange mechanical man who kept singing about two moths living in his coat, a rock and roll guitarist striking all the right poses, and a clueless repairman called Clumsy.

Just another day in Zaandam.

We saw a friendly white lady presented as if in marble, and a sad-looking fishwife who was looking forlornly into her empty bucket until Stephan passed by, and gave her a tip.

Spookily, she reached out and grasped his hand, then seemed forlorn as we departed, her arm still held out imploringly. She may not have been a winner but was the most memorable of them all.

Stephan, formerly a guide with now defunct travel streamer Heygo, continues to run live streamed interactive tours on platforms including Youtube and is part of the new Together Virtually – Discover The World guides collective.

To keep up to date with his upcoming tours, head to the All Aboard Stephan’s Bike Facebook group or see the Together Virtually – Discover The World calendar.

Images in this post are by Stephan or from his Youtube tour of the Living Statues Festival, which you can find here.